Back from D.C

Yeah, I came back home from a vacation to D.C like a week ago. It was a pretty fun trip. I woke up and saw we finally had arrived to Washington DC, and then I saw the Washington monument, which I could have cared less about. It really was nothing to me. Then it took us like 30 minutes to find the damn hotel. We just drove around looking for it, but we couldn’t find it. But then we did find it, and our original room pretty much sucked ass. It was a handicapped room for retarded people or something. Well, probably not, but it was for handicapped people of some sort. The toilet was tall as fuck, and my 10 year old brother couldn’t even reach the seat, the room was too small, and the shower was one of those things where you just walk in…it wasn’t the real shower thing we’re all used to where we usually climb over a foot and a half wall thing. We just could literally walk into the small hotel-sized bathroom, and slid our feet into the shower. That was ridiculous, and I told my parents I was not going to be able to deal with that shit. So then we went back down to the hotel service people at the main desk to get a better room. During this time I was made to go somewhere else where my family wasn’t because they didn’t want to be charged for a 5-person family, so yeah. I just sat in a chair and waited. Then we found our new room,  and it was a lot better. The room was bigger, the shower was the real kind, and all that normal hotel room stuff. During the entire trip, I slept on an air matress in front of the door…but I always am the one ending up not sleeping in a bed. I don’t like sleeping in the same bed as my brothers really. I’m not into that faggotry. But yeah…it’s sad, but I kind of am forgetting what the hell we did on the trip. I’ll just wing it from here with the descriptions, I think I’ll do fine. Here it goes…

 On the first day, I remember we did a ton of walking, which I am not a fan of. We walked to the capitol building or something…we arrived there, and my dad seemed really interested in it. Pretty bullshit, because I thought it was a waste of a damn walk. The only interesting thing I saw there was a bunch of security guards who stood in front of trees and large platforms pretending to be important. But I could have cared less about the capitol building. It was just a bunch of bullcrap. Then we did even more walking, and then I layed down on a bench at some random place because this entire walk on day 1 was total bullshit and nothing was going on. Then we went into an art museum, I believe. I think it was an art museum, because for the 5 minutes we were in there, I saw a bunch of art pieces that looked like shit. We walked into the building and the people there said they were closing in less than 5 minutes, so my parents asked what there was to see in 5 minutes. Some security guy said “Van Gogh” or something (it sounded like some famous artist), so that’s what we heard so I guess we went looking for that section. We finally find it, and then we see the piece of art, and I immedietely say  “What the hell is it?”, and then we look at the name, and we find out the name of the artist is some nobody. There was 1 letter different in his last name than the name we heard the security guard say. Ha. Waste of 5 minutes, wouldn’t you say?

 Now I’m getting tired, and I don’t want to get in all the specifics anymore…I’ll try to cut it short. D.C was pretty fun overall, I guess. On the 2nd day we went to visit the Holocaust museum, which I was kind of looking forward to see. But I don’t know…I’ve never been a fan of being in 1 museum for 4 hours. It just gets old after the 1st hour, wouldn’t you think? You saw a bunch of stuff about Jews being killed, the holocaust, how horrible Hitler was…all of that general stuff we all have known since the 5th grade, and have been learning every year. Then my mom was getting pissed at me after the 1st 30 minutes because she was being a bitch and stood at the same fucking spot looking at only 1 thing forever. So I bring it up, and she has like a triple-orgasm or something. She doesn’t like not having power when we’re doing that kind of stuff. And my youngest brother, Bryan was her little bitch of the day, going along with her and asking her a bunch of questions and everything, being interested in all the stuff. It’s not that I wasn’t interested in everything, it’s just that we spent way too much damn time in there.

 Then we would come back to the hotel for a couple hours maybe, and my brothers and I would argue to see who gets the TV. Most of the time it was always on ESPN or ESPNEWS. I would end up falling asleep and that stuff. Then when I woke up from a nap on one of the days, we were talking about going out to dinner at the ESPN Zone. That sounded pretty tight to me. So we walked to the subway and took a train a couple blocks, and walked to the place. It really was a kickass place. It was a huge place…so we walked in and we were told there was about an hour and a half wait. At first that sounded pretty bad, but we were told there was a huge area downstairs where there was a huge arcade area and stuff. So then our parents buy us this card thing, where it has like 150 points on it or something, and then you go spend it on certain games that has a specific point value and stuff. And just like that our table was ready. It didn’t feel like much time went by at all, but we were actually in the arcade for quite some time. So then we get taken to our seat, and in the middle of our table, there’s a fucking TV screen. How’s that for kickass? We sat down, and my parents could tell this was really the only part of the trip I had a big smile about. ESPN, sports. All there is to it. We, being huge Cleveland Indians fans had the opportunity to browse through random channels of sports games, and we turned it to Sports Time Ohio (pretty sweet how D.C bought that package, eh?) and watched the Indians-Yankees game. The downside was that the Indians looked horrible during the game, and the Yankees owned them. So since we knew the Tribe were getting crushed, we also checked out the Tigers-A’s game going on another channel. The food was great, by the way. Also that evening was the kickoff of the Washington Redskins preseason opener versus the Tennessee Titans, so the local fans were pretty psyched for that. During the course of the 1st quarter of action, we saw a guy with a huge camera come into the place and was taping fans around the restaurant. At first we were making weird assumptions that perhaps he was from ESPN? Not really, but he was from an NBC station. I thought of walking up to him to get on camera, but being my shy personality, I decided against it. However, my brother Bryan didn’t seem to have much of a problem being an attention whore. He walked up there, and then eventually a lady walked up to him and started talking for a little bit, and then before we know it, we see a huge beam of line shine upon him, and in front of the camera, the lady is holding an NBC microphone up to him. Later that night, we saw him on the news! The segment came up, and they were talking about how the Redskins were finally getting ready for the season to begin, and how they went to the ESPN Zone in D.C to see the fans reactions, and Bryan Swick, of Findlay Ohio just winged it up there in front of the camera. He pulled it off, sure, but what he said was the biggest bullshitting ever, haha. He said “They’ve  got good people on the team and they’re going to to better than last season”. Doesn’t matter, though. It was still cool he made the news.

 Jesus Christ, look up where I typed “I’m tired and will try to make this short”. Wow…I’ve still got more!

 Then on another day–wait, no. This was actually right before we went to the holocaust museum. Anyways, we walked all the way to the Washington Monument. We got there, and then after waiting for some time, we took an elevator, and got to go all the way up to the top for a view of D.C. It actually was pretty cool. We could see the capitol building, the Pentagon, and the White House. Then on another day we went to the White House. It was alright, nothing all that great about it. There was a huge-ass lawn though. I could see a few guards up on the roof of the White House. That’s about all there is to type about that. You can be sure I’m forgetting some other things. Hmmm, let’s see…we saw some homeless people sitting in random places rocking back and forth. Typical D.C stuff.  

On the final day, we went to a museum right by the hotel. I believe it was the national air and space museum. I found it to be a waste of time, but my dad was super excited with everything there. I saw a bunch of that crap they flew into space, and really fast fighter airplanes. Who cares. But we did see some IMAX 3D thing. The theater was fucking huge! I sat next to some hot chick from Russia. Sorry, that’s really not relevant at all. But yeah, the IMAX showing was of this group of astronaughts who go into space in some rocket and do a bunch of stuff. It was pretty cool. Then that ended and we went on seeing other pointless bullshit, and then we left. We got tickets to go to The Mint (that national money-making factory), and we found out we had 2 hours to kill before going to the mint. My mom’s back was fucked up or something so she went to do something on her own while my dad and brothers went to the national cemetary, and we took this train thingy to some random places around the cemetary. We got out, and saw JFK’s tomb. That was pretty cool. We also got out at a memorial (I forget what it was exactly, perhaps it was a WWI/WWII memorial) that was pretty huge. There we saw something called “changing of the guard”. If you don’t know what it means, then google it. I didn’t know what it meant either until I saw it. It was really, really cool. Their ritual thing was a bit weird, but to be honest, I was pretty fascinated. Then we took a subway back and met my mom at The Mint. It was pretty cool seeing all the machinery in there, seeing all that money and stuff, but I was disappointed because at the end, they didn’t give away free money. And that’s about it for the trip. We went back to the hotel, got into the car and drove back home.

Wow, that entry took awhile. Finally done…but anyway, tomorrow or so I will have to add another entry about this huge flood we had over here in the city of Findlay. The worst flood we’ve seen since 1913. The entire city is basically under water. I’ll try and post about all this stuff soon. We’re all over the national news and everything. We’re fucking famous. For now, peace out.